Relocating between international or local schools (as any transition process in someone’s lifetime) is a significant life event for families, particularly for children who often face the challenge of adapting to new cultures and educational environments without this being a choice they make.
Ruth Van Reken and David Pollock, co-authors of the seminal book “Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds,” developed the RAFT framework to help make these transitions into positive experiences of growth. This structured approach offers practical strategies for parents and children, ensuring smoother moves and healthier emotional adjustments.
The RAFT framework stands for Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewells, and Think Destination. Each component addresses a critical aspect of the transition process.
Reconciliation involves resolving any conflicts or unfinished business before leaving. Reconciliation fosters a sense of closure, allowing families to leave their old home with peace of mind.
Ideas for supporting children through transition – Reconciliation:
- Sit with your children and explore the experiences that felt like conflicts or unfinished business – allow them to speak at length about these. If possible, plan meetings or projects to put these to rest.
- Engage your children in letter writing when reconciliation events are not possible – encourage them to express their feelings freely
- Sit with your child while packing their school artefacts, bring closure to projects and reminisce together
Affirmation is about recognizing and celebrating the experiences and relationships formed in the current location. This step is crucial as it validates the children’s feelings and experiences, helping them understand that their time in the previous location was valuable and meaningful.
Ideas for supporting children through transition – Affirmation:
- Sit with your children and think about people and places that made a positive difference in the experience that is coming to an end. Plan on visiting these or writing letters of thanks.
- Plan time to create a scrapbook from photos and artefacts collected at the current location, inviting your child to write or mention one thing they are grateful for applicable to each item included
- Decide on a few photos to print and frame and take to your new location. Discuss with your children about what they appreciated in the moments they chose to frame.
Farewells emphasize the importance of saying proper goodbyes to people, places, and pets. Farewells allow children to emotionally process their departure and prepare for their new journey.
Ideas for supporting children through transition – Farewells:
- Spend some time visiting places you and your family loved and reminisce the wonderful memories made there
- Plan a going away party and offer small parting and thank you gifts to those invited
- Plant a tree before you leave – you can ask a friend or family member if you could do that in their garden or do that in a forest
Finally, Think Destination encourages families to shift their focus to the future. This proactive approach helps mitigate anxiety and builds excitement for the upcoming adventure.
Ideas for supporting children through transition – Think Destination:
- Involve your children in researching the new location, understanding the culture, and getting familiar with the new school.
- If possible, take a trip together and explore the new location. If a trip is not possible, watch documentaries or movies that take place in your future location. Discuss with your children about what seems interesting to them and what they would like to explore further.
- Ask the new school to put you and your children in touch with a “buddy family” and organize at least one meeting online. Sit with your child before this meeting to put together a list of questions and wonderings.
The RAFT framework provides a comprehensive guide for families navigating the complexities of international relocations. By following these steps, parents can support their children in managing their emotions, fostering resilience, and embracing the new opportunities that come with each move.
